Pornology New York

In the span of a few months, I have been bombarded by sex in New York. On the cover of New York magazine, in plays including My First Time and my most recent installment CineKink's Pornology New York.

Everything I see as a writer hopefully contributes to a better understanding and sensibility to me with writing about sex. There was a scene in the CineKink feature that I cannot even describe because I am not sure what the man was doing to his girlfriend, except to say that it really looked painful.

And she loved it even though she cried and was visibly in pain. Pain for her experiencing it and me watching it! But when it was over, he said to her who loves you? She fell into his arms with ease and cried, at which point he was so tender and loving to her. You really have to trust someone in a situation like that. I guess you really need to love them and know that they love you because could it be any less?

How lucky am I to live in a city that is so sexually saturated media wise as an erotic (and romantic!) writer?

The Grindhouse Rules

I saw Grindhouse last night with one of my adventurous friends, who also went with me to see Les Anges Exterminateurs, and I laughed until my face was stained with tears. It was so over the top that I could not help myself. I laughed during Les Anges as well--because of the over the top sex in place of the violence.

Everything is over the top in the movies. At least Grindhouse was supposed to be. Someone was reading New York, the Sex and Love issue which of course I read (the coolest thing I discovered there was X Tube). The article about the rare species aka New York City virgins reminded me of an idea that is being fed to me in every "literary" book I read, and by other writers that the only way New Yorkers know how to connect is by being physical. This idea disturbs me, but as I am laughing my head off about extreme sex and violence in the movies I have seen, I think about a line from Joni Mitchell's song "People's Parties." "Laughing and crying, you know it's the same release.”

Maybe those tears on my eyes were for the still that it is so easy in this city for people to feel awkward about sex. I am 32 years old, and I am talking to friends who still cannot have frank conversations about sex. Friends who cannot say fuck--what the fuck is that? In Grindhouse, there were fucks on top of motherfucks, and it was annoying because cursing is like a fine liquor--good in small doses. How can you not be able to say fuck, while fucking other people? Because to me getting to know someone’s body before getting to know that person is fucking. It’s not making love until there is love involved. Call me traditional or whatever. I am disturbed by people who can be so hypocritical. The people, who smirk and grin during gratuitous sex scenes on the screen as if they have never had it, cringe at real emotion and love seeing blood everywhere.

Is trying to connect with people in New York City really such a grindhouse drama?

Gratitude Tuesday

Observation

I believe in the power of observation. Whether it is inward or outward, there is not another way in the world to learn than to look at what is around you and in you.

Have you ever felt like a failure? As if you could do nothing right even though you were trying harder than you ever could? Did you ever think what am I doing? The common denominator for everything in your life is you. You can change yourself.

I am a chameleon. I got the ability from my mother who is much more stable than me. She knows how to keep me grounded. I am the kind of person who will plan for the worse case scenario because I want to be prepared. My mother told me that I get myself all wound up all the time when there is not even a reason for me to feel that way.

Now when I fall, I let my mouth savor the soft metallic of the scrape wherever, and think I have gotten up, I can move on.

Just an observation about me.

If I was not an observer, I would not be a blogger. I watched what other people were doing and decided to join in. Being a blogger is one of the best things in my life. I see things--observe things like I never did before. Other people like I never did before.

I am richer for it.

I licked observation on a sugar cone today. More observation led me to free ice cream cone day at Ben and Jerry's. I actually hate ice cream cones, but there were no cups so I had to have one to place the fudge brownie ice cream in.

A lot to observe on the periphery of Times Square I might add.

Have you done your taxes? Oh the observation that I have not means I have to get off of this computer and do that!