Insulation

Finished NaNo but as usual, my new passion is a new piece I am working on. I know it is a reflection of me not being able to follow through. But at least the passion for it will fill me a bit. This is my first Christmas without my mother and there is a draft inside me. My creativity is a bit of insulation for me. It is the thing that warms me when I feel cold inside. Not every bit of creative thought comes from a cold place in me, but when it does it warms me, revitalizes me that I can reconstruct everything that happens to me.

This story is a new theme for me. A spin off from the themes in my NaNo novel, very dark and at the bottom of Pandora's Box. Opened it and like a yoga pose, my head down to the bottom to get up every last bit of what I should not have even known. For this story, I have to be fearless. It is getting easier and easier for me to be so...

Baby Steps

I have forgotten how to blog, and yet I am going to try again. I might have even stopped, but I came back and saw that CeeCi said "Please don't."

Thank you.

The world remains the same, even though my mother died. At first, I was not even sure how people could be happy--hadn't they gotten the memo?

My mom was the sort of woman who could get out of any storm.

She did not get out of this. It is like losing a mom and a superhero. Yet even in her demise, she was the most potent and amazing woman I have ever known.

I miss her.

She was the one who told me about sex at a young age and started the obsession with it. She knew that I liked to write about it and certainly talk about it.

She was fine with that.

My mom was my best friend and my inspiration and it is because of her that I am going on.

Without her.

So I am back to the land of blogging.

Baby steps, baby steps...